Overapologising is something I still struggle with.
I say “sorry” when I speak up.
When I ask for help.
When I take up space.
Even when I haven’t done anything wrong.
It’s not just a habit.
It’s a trauma response — one I’ve carried for a long time.
When “Sorry” Becomes a Safety Strategy
For me, apologising became a way to stay safe.
To avoid conflict.
To make sure no one was upset with me.
To prove that I was “good” and “harmless” and “not too much.”
But underneath all those apologies?
- A fear of being seen as a burden
- A fear of taking up space
- A fear of getting it wrong
And the hardest part?
Even after all the “sorrys,” I still feel the shame.
I still sense judgment.
I still wonder if I’ve failed somehow.
Healing Means Noticing the Pattern
I’m learning now that healing doesn’t mean I never slip into old patterns.
It means I notice them.
It means I pause when I feel that automatic “sorry” rising up and ask myself:
Am I apologising because I truly did something wrong?
Or because I’m afraid I’m too much?
That pause has been everything.
That awareness is the shift.
You Don’t Need to Apologise for Existing
Here’s the truth I’m holding onto:
- I don’t have to apologise for existing.
- I don’t have to shrink myself to be safe.
- I’m allowed to take up space.
- I’m allowed to ask for what I need.
No apology required.
💬 What About You?
If you find yourself saying sorry all the time—not because you’ve done something wrong, but because you’re afraid of being rejected or judged—please know:
You are not alone.
You are not too much.
You are allowed to show up just as you are.
Traversing Trauma 
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