Sounds weird, doesn’t it?
But honestly? My healing journey began to move forward a lot quicker when I started letting myself have fun again.
Before Fun Felt Possible
For a long time, I was just existing.
Every day felt insufferably long.
I had no hobbies, no joy, no real sense of who I was or what I wanted.
Even existing felt questionable at times.
As someone living with Complex PTSD, fun didn’t come naturally.
I felt guilty for relaxing, ashamed of doing something “just for me.”
The idea of play or pleasure felt unfamiliar — maybe even undeserved.
The Turning Point
When I first moved out of home, I fell into a deep depression.
I couldn’t even get out of bed some days.
My psychologist at the time had this sweet habit of ending every session with:
“Have fun.”
I always brushed it off.
But one day, he flipped it:
“What do you do for fun?”
And I genuinely didn’t know how to answer.
Relearning Joy, One Step at a Time
That question stayed with me. I started thinking:
What does bring me joy? What do I like?
At first, I leaned on my partner.
Because trauma had stripped away my sense of self, I copied what he did.
He taught me how to play a video game — and slowly, I found joy in it.
That moment of joy gave me confidence to branch out.
Soon, I was exploring other hobbies.
I wasn’t just surviving anymore — I was beginning to live.
How Fun Helps Me Heal
This part is purely personal and anecdotal — but having fun changed everything for me.
Here’s what I noticed:
🌿 It calms my nervous system
Engaging in hobbies interrupts my fight-or-flight responses.
It brings me into the present, reduces anxiety, and helps me avoid depressive spirals.
🧠 It keeps me from burnout
When I don’t make time for fun, I burn out fast.
Fun isn’t a luxury — it’s preventative medicine.
💛 It rebuilds confidence
Laughter, smiles, and moments of contentment remind my body I’m safe.
That I’m no longer stuck in trauma.
That I’m here, and I’m healing.
A Note for Other Trauma Survivors
I know fun might feel far away.
It might feel undeserved, or even scary.
But you deserve joy.
You deserve to smile, to laugh, to be playful.
You deserve to heal through happiness.
Start small. Try something silly. Let yourself enjoy it.
Not for productivity. Not for progress.
Just because you’re human — and humans are wired for joy.
Do you find it hard to have fun as a trauma survivor? What do you do for fun? I’d love to know. 💬
With joy,
🕊️ Ness
Traversing Trauma 
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