Before becoming a mum, I never imagined that a bowl of rice, a squishy ball, or some coloured water could be healing.
But these days, sensory play with my daughter is more than just fun or developmental.
It’s grounding — for her, and for me.
Living with a Hypervigilant Nervous System
Living with Complex PTSD means my nervous system is often on high alert.
Some days I:
- Dissociate
- Lose track of time
- Feel like I’m floating outside myself
I’ve spent years learning how to anchor — how to come back to my body and into the present.
And some days, the usual grounding techniques just don’t cut it.
But play has surprised me.
What Sensory Play Has Taught Me
When I sit beside my daughter and:
- Run my hands through kinetic sand
- Help her pour water from one cup to another
- Squish playdough or shake sensory bottles
…I feel myself start to return.
The textures.
The sounds.
The colours.
They don’t demand anything from me.
They simply invite me to be here — without pressure, without overthinking.
Curiosity Instead of Fear
She reminds me what it’s like to explore the world through curiosity instead of fear.
She pulls me back to:
- The sensation of bubbles popping on my skin
- The joy of messy paint on tiny hands
- The laughter bouncing off our living room walls
Who Is the Play Really For?
Sometimes, I wonder — who is the play really for?
Her? Or me?
Maybe both.
Because healing doesn’t always look like journaling or therapy.
Sometimes, it looks like sitting on the floor, covered in rice and glitter, feeling alive.
This Season of Motherhood
Motherhood has stretched me.
It’s softened edges I didn’t know were sharp.
It’s brought up things I thought I’d buried.
But it’s also offered me unexpected tools for healing.
Tools like sensory play — simple, silly, tactile — that bring me back into my body.
Into this moment.
And for that, I’m grateful.
Ness
Traversing Trauma 
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